The Coming Out Story

Joel Edgerton. Boy Erased © 2018, Focus Features.
Greg Berlanti. Love Simon © 2018. 20^th Century Fox.

Introduction

Coming out within LBGTQ+ films. Is it representational? What is coming out? There are only a few films that touch on what it means to come out within the LBGTQ + spectrum and how that community embraces those coming out. Often we can see that many films portray the act of coming out to family and friends, where it often goes horribly wrong. Coming out is a hard thing for many within the LBGTQ+ community and the portrayal of the harm from coming out is damaging to the perceptions that those who are in the community have of themselves. The portrayals of better coming out stories within film and of looking at it from homosexual perspective offers a better medium for representation. To understand the complexities of coming out one must look at films like Boy Erased and Love Simon and juxtapose between a disney like coming out story and a more terrifying conversion therapy coming out story.

Love Simon is a coming of age film that shows the way that Simon Spier who is a closeted gay teen is forced to come out of the closet. He began his journey of coming out by emailing an anonymous email with a guy named Blue. While they did not know each others names, they began to help each other through coming out. The film shows an average perfect family grow and explore within the film until Simon is outed by another classmate because he did not get the chance to go to prom with one of Simon’s friends. The film shows Simon begin to navigate his sexuality throughout the film, his relationship with friends and family, while also trying to figure out who his crush happens to be.

Boy Erased is a movie about a true biographical story of a young man named Jared Eamons who grew up in a religious home with a very nuclear family of a Baptist preacher and car dealership owning father and hairstylist mother. In college he starts to begin to have feelings for one of his friends and begins to discover the gay identity in himself. The catalyst for the Jared’s coming out story is he was sexually assaulted by Henry his friend at college, who then to ensure his silence of what happened calls his house over the summer and outs him as gay. Jared is then sent by his father to Love In Action in Memphis, Tennessee which is a gay conversion therapy camp for troubled youth. At the Conversion center therapy Jared is put through tests and “therapy” sessions to get better but in reality, many of the youth there are playing a part to get out as soon as possible.

Analysis of Films and Representation

Love Simon and Boy Erased are both coming of age film with a homosexual coming out story. They both are uniquely centered around being outed to their respective peers and families. This affects how they see themselves in the LBGTQ+ community and in their lives moving forward. Love Simon is more of a Disney heart whelming film about a gay teen who holds his secret back from the world and then is outed without him being able to make that decision. Boy Erased is a darker film that is centered around Jared being outed after experiencing a sexual assault at college and being outed to his family. Both films are a representation of gay culture and the LGBTQ+ community on screen. Often, films can become representations of different communities. We can begin to understand complex Hollywood film code when David Lugowski states that “Concern over gender roles would occupy a central role in the ongoing struggle among studio profit motives, the varying demands of differently positioned spectators, and what was seen as the need for “suitable” representation in light of the Depression’s crisis of masculinity and family.” (8) In Hollywood there is distinct historical film code that did not allow for many liberties to be taken when showing the LGBTQ+ community. Even in current day we can see that there are still coded ways Hollywood portrays LGBTQ+ communities and actors’ stories. What is important is that there can be representations on film of what it means to be a gay man, but what is harder to identify is if it is an actual representation that many LGBTQ+ people long for or if it is a “suitable” representation for Hollywood? Richard Dryer gives certain explanation what many LBGTQ+ community members have used as an exterior image for themselves which he states “this may be a characteristically gay ( I hesitate to claim lesbian/gay) perception, since for us performance is an everyday issue, whether in terms of passing as straight, signaling gayness in coming out, worrying which of these turns to do unsure what any of that has to do with what one “is.” (188) For many gay men and members of the LGBTQ+ community before and after the initial coming out, there is a performance that they give off. In the case of Love Simon, we can see that Simon tried to act heterosexual for most of his life and when he began to come out he remained the same but also did not change into a stereotype of a gay man. What is also interesting is that both films portray characters that are not like the stereotypical sissy gay man but a very heterosexual acting and appearing gay man. Both films portray coming out stories very well but they both have different representations of those stories and what it means to be LGBTQ+.

The Realistic Coming Out

Coming out as a part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum can be very difficult depending on different aspects of a person’s life. What is important to remember is that coming out in real life is not like what occurs in films. It is a cyclical process and many films often choose to portray the coming out process as a one and done event. Gilad Padva gives a good example of this when they state that “Significantly, the melodramatic and enthusiastic campaign for coming out during one’s teen years in the new queer cinema does not confront sufficiently the difficulties of coming out, treating coming out as healing, therapeutic, or at least better than not coming out, and thus romanticizing an extremely dichotomized choice.” (361) Coming has a lot of complexities to it those can be very good occurrences but often there can be significant problems when coming out to relatives or friends. In film, we can see that in Love Simon there was a very fairy tale ending of the film with the entire school surrounding him and accepting him after being publicly outed by a classmate. In Boy Erased, the fear of coming out to very religious parents can be very challenging and was represented well. The story shows the harsh truth of conversion therapy and the very present context of many conversion therapy camps. In 32 states there are still laws that allow conversion therapy and the terrifying complexities that often hurt many young LGBTQ+ youth. These shirts below allow for people going to PRIDE or other events to further give context to coming out stories but ultimately show that LGBTQ+ people are just as valid and human as heterosexual people. Also, it shows the everyday aspect of what many LGBTQ+ people deal with coming out on a daily basis and the burdens of representing their community.

This model is hopefully helpful for those who are experiencing coming out as homosexual or LGBTQ+ or those heterosexual friends who are wanting to learn more. The Anthony D’Aquelli’s Homosexual Lifespan Development model shows that six processes to coming out and how it can look. The incredible part of this model is that it is not cyclical and you can do any part of the process first! This model shows that representation needs to occur within media and film about the coming out process. Suzanna Danuta Walters states that “ For gay families exist in a complicated context and we need representation so these multi-layered communities: we need images that depict the work that goes into making communities happening.” (930) Walters is stating that there needs to be representation within film of the result of LGBTQ+ families as a result of the development model. More youth will come out if there is a representation in modern film that shows the gay family narrative. Within the films of Love Simon you can see that Simon was outed and then came out to his peers and Boy Erased fundamentally shows the becoming an LGBTQ+ offspring. These films are great to see the initial coming out story and coming of age process, but the question begs further. What representation within Hollywood films outside of television is there an abundance of the creation of LGBT nuclear families?

Education Section

For part of my project I wanted an education and resource section that had detailed information for those in the LGBTQ+ community to call in crisis and get appropriate information if needed. The crisis numbers and resources that I added are 24/7 hotlines for those who are going through a tough time with coming out, exploring sexuality and finding educational programs that fit their needs. I want to make sure that there is an infographic with Cincinnati based resources and national resources so that people could be supported in all stages of their sexuality exploration.

For those attending Xavier University or living within the area of Cincinnati this is a helpful informational graphic for resources in the surrounding area. Whether you are exploring your sexuality, coming out or wanting a support group there is a resource on this infographic for you. It can be hard living as someone who identifies in the LGBTQ+ spectrum but it is important that you have resources that can help you identify what you need to be safe and happy.

With my work as a Resident Assistant at Xavier University part of my job is to create informational bulletin boards so that my hallway of residents could learn and become knowledgeable about subjects that are unfamiliar to them. This was my LGBTQ+ board that I created with the help of Xavier University’s Center of Diversity and Inclusion which has a three tiered Safer Spaces program for those wanting to learn more about the LGBTQ+ community. This board did end up being vandalized as a part of being up in the hallway but this only continued my work to integrate this information into a Diversity Tie Dye program and hall meeting so that my group of residents to continue to learn about about this community on campus.

Works Cited

“Boy Erased.” IMDB, 2019

Fuss, Diana. Inside/out: Lesbian Theories, Gay Theories. Routledge, 2016.

“Love Simon.” IMDB, 2019

Lugowski, David M. “Queering the (New) Deal: Lesbian and Gay Representation and the Depression-Era Cultural Politics of Hollywood’s Production Code.” Cinema Journal, vol. 38, no. 2, Winter 1999, pp. 3–35. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=vth&AN=12549369&site=eds-live&scope=site.

Padva, Gilad. “Edge of Seventeen: Melodramatic Coming-out in New Queer Adolescence Films.” Communication & Critical/Cultural Studies, vol. 1, no. 4, Dec. 2004, pp. 355–372. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/1479142042000244961.

Reed, Elizabeth. “The Heterogeneity of Family: Responses to Representational Invisibility by LGBTQ Parents.” Journal of Family Issues, vol. 39, no. 18, Dec. 2018, pp. 4204–4225. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1177/0192513X18810952.

Walters, Suzanna Danuta. “The Kids Are All Right but the Lesbians Aren’t: Queer Kinship in US Culture.” Sexualities, vol. 15, no. 8, Dec. 2012, p. 917. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=edb&AN=83636656&site=eds-live&scope=site.

Whatling, Clare, and Diana Fuss. “Inside/Out: Lesbian Theories, Gay Theories.” Feminist Review, no. 44, 1993, p. 117., doi:10.2307/1395202.

Xavier University. Center for Diversity and Inclusion Copyright for Safer Spaces Program Session One Book.
https://www.xavier.edu/diversity-inclusion/